Ever wonder what it would be like if James Bond cared about damage prevention? We asked our copywriter to give it a try. Hope you enjoy.
The morning sun slowly washes over the rolling English countryside as you step out of the Aston Martin DB5 and onto the crushed granite driveway of the family cottage. It’s been another long night of alley chases, casino floor knife fights, and salsa dancing – You’ve been looking forward to this rare opportunity to slip out of the suit for a weekend, drink a proper cup of tea, and read a mystery novel or two. The world’s problems can surely take care of themselves for a couple of days.
That’s when you hear it. The low rumble of heavy machinery in the distance. You feel the engine’s rhythm in your chest. Or is that the beat of a broken heart sensing this rose of a weekend off withering away?
Your mind races to think of who the threat might be. There were too many to consider. Too many enemies seeking revenge.
It could be that Bolivian wind energy tycoon, Richey Blowsoft, so set on increasing the world’s extreme weather events and increasing profits that he ignored the human costs of daily hurricanes in the Mediterranean. Him and his armada of inflatable hovercrafts could be on the other side of the hill.
It could be the mad entomology professor from Nebraska, Dr. Barnabee, who lost his tenured professorship in Lincoln after insisting that insect rights were human rights. He’d spent the last 20 years post-dismissal building progressively larger and more dangerous mechanical insects and making threats to world leaders. He wasn’t happy about you thwarting his ‘JapAnts’ mission, a carefully planned invasion of Japan via dog-sized robotic ants. This intrusion could be him and his centipede train, a trackless locomotive with a thousand creepy legs.
The source of the tremors begins to emerge over the horizon. It blocks out the light for a moment, looking like the sun’s ambitious shadow who finally tired of falling behind. The silhouette is blocky and still distant, but you’re a machines expert and know the shape well. It’s a John Deere T670 combine. Five-and-a-half tons of industrial efficiency.
A neighboring farmer mans the machine. You share a small wave of familiarity and feel the tension in your body relax.
The relief lasts only a moment, however. The combine is headed straight towards a utility marker and the farmer shows no signs of stopping. You’re too far away to warn him, there’s nothing left to do but watch.
You mentally prepare yourself for the crunch and splintering crack of pulverized plastic, but it never comes. The yellow post disappears beneath the 15-foot-high wheel of the monstrous machine. Then the impossible. You rub your blurred eyes to be sure. Yes, it’s true.
The post whipped back into its original position, like a spring doorstop flicked by bored child. Unthinkable.
A young man in glasses and a corduroy jacket appears to your right. He wasn’t there a moment ago, you’re sure of it.
“Hello Double-0”, he says with a small smile.
The sun-drenched fields surrounding the two of you begin to melt away like rain on a windshield. The cottage flickers out of sight too, then the car and the sky and the very grass beneath their feet. Taking their place is a familiar computer lab.
What remains of the previous scene is a single yellow TriView post and the hulking combine that had run it over. Even the friendly farmer had flashed away.
“…was that a simulation, sir?”, you manage to ask through the shock.
“Yes, Double-0. Most of it”
He gestures with a sweeping arm towards the combine and the magical post.
“Not that, though. That’s a Rhino TriView utility marker”
“That’s not possible”, you say as you try and fail to piece together a single memory from the car ride to the cottage. “I saw that post get run over and it popped up as if nothing had happened”
His smirk grows just a touch.
“Yes, that was very real. It’s the most durable utility marker on the market. We’ve constructed them using a proprietary blend of thermoplastics, RhinoPoly. The triangular shape makes them inherently rigid and the internal Flex Plus Rod is responsible for the miraculous rebound you noticed”
Jaw firmly on the floor, you whisper, “Remarkable”
